10 years
Today my friend asked me where I wanted to be in 10 years. We get caught up in the day-to-day tasks and struggling to keep our heads above water. Her intention is to think big picture and then to do little things toward that big goal. You want to be physically fit and limber? Start yoga or running now to do maintenance on your body. You want a good community? Start investing time and energy in people you value.
In 10 years, I do want both of those things. I also want to have a partner. My dog and family and friends are huge and if I never find anyone to be my partner, I will still be thankful for all the love I have. But yes, I hope to have a guy to cry on and fight with. I mean, I hope we travel and kiss and laugh and all that too, but mostly I want a person to make the hard stuff a little more bearable.
I also hope to have a career full-time in writing, where I don't need this day job to pay for my dog's needs. (He isn't very needy but when I day-dream about quitting, I worry about caring for Edgar more than myself.) I do have a pretty good job and I don't hate it, which is great for the time being. It's just hard to then do my second job of writing when I'm tired from my job that pays the rent.
Both of these goals are a little lofty and not within my control. But technically neither is my body or my community. I can do things to achieve both of these goals. I can go on dates, even if they're awkward and terrible, all I have to do is not die. And I can continue to write and hustle and hopefully get enough of a rhythm to feel secure enough to leap.
It also helps to look back and see where I was 10 years ago-- Just out of college, working as a barista, trying to be an actress, buying $4 wine bottles and watching Friends on repeat. I was in love with a terrible boy and was paying $300 in rent to live an hour from where I grew up. I'd not gone to Grad School, I'd not moved out of the country, I'd not worked an industry job or met a single celebrity. I didn't have an iphone or non-costume based jewelry. I had good and bad friends. The good ones stayed and the bad ones are gone. More has changed than I give myself credit for. Good and bad has come and gone. 10 years.
In 10 years, I do want both of those things. I also want to have a partner. My dog and family and friends are huge and if I never find anyone to be my partner, I will still be thankful for all the love I have. But yes, I hope to have a guy to cry on and fight with. I mean, I hope we travel and kiss and laugh and all that too, but mostly I want a person to make the hard stuff a little more bearable.
I also hope to have a career full-time in writing, where I don't need this day job to pay for my dog's needs. (He isn't very needy but when I day-dream about quitting, I worry about caring for Edgar more than myself.) I do have a pretty good job and I don't hate it, which is great for the time being. It's just hard to then do my second job of writing when I'm tired from my job that pays the rent.
Both of these goals are a little lofty and not within my control. But technically neither is my body or my community. I can do things to achieve both of these goals. I can go on dates, even if they're awkward and terrible, all I have to do is not die. And I can continue to write and hustle and hopefully get enough of a rhythm to feel secure enough to leap.
It also helps to look back and see where I was 10 years ago-- Just out of college, working as a barista, trying to be an actress, buying $4 wine bottles and watching Friends on repeat. I was in love with a terrible boy and was paying $300 in rent to live an hour from where I grew up. I'd not gone to Grad School, I'd not moved out of the country, I'd not worked an industry job or met a single celebrity. I didn't have an iphone or non-costume based jewelry. I had good and bad friends. The good ones stayed and the bad ones are gone. More has changed than I give myself credit for. Good and bad has come and gone. 10 years.